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It’s early Sunday morning and the alarm is going off. Too early, especially since I’m not heading off to work. I roll out of bed at 6:30am, take a quick look out the window, almost looking to see if the sun was up yet. Skies were blue with the sun shining. It’s going to be a good day, in more ways than one.
Dressed and ready for the day ahead out to the car I go. First stop, as any other morning, Starbucks. Not too sure how long my upcoming event will take, I decide better safe than sorry, so, I decide to get a sausage breakfast sandwich to go along with my grande non-fat no-whip mocha. Coffee in hand, I drive towards my destination for this morning’s early alarm. Surrey, not in the nice part of Surrey either. Off to an older run-down (currently – some neighbours seem to be taking care of their yards, others not) neighbourhood of Whalley.
Being early and nervous about my morning’s adventures, I drive around the house to scope out the area and assess the situation. I find a large business parking lot to stop in and enjoy my coffee while I collect and process my thoughts.
It’s time...now or never. If I don’t drive to the house now, I’ll miss it. I won’t be able to support him. Facing the uneasiness I had about this new environment, I got out of my car, walked around to the back of the house. There it was, the converted garage, where I’ll visit my first N.A. meeting. The yard is filled with faces I don’t know. I walk past them towards the door of the garage. There is a friendly warm welcoming smile that meets me. A nice big hug from the man, the friend, I am there to support. I’m at ease. Next two other faces I know, relief sets in. I know I’m doing the right thing by being here to support my friend, to help him celebrate his accomplishments in the past year.
The meeting is called to start and everyone files into the converted garage to find a seat. I sit beside my friend, really – where else would I be? It’s hard for him to settle. I look around; it’s hard for everyone to settle. Each addict is experiencing ticks, shaking, fidgeting in some way. Some maybe because they’ve just used, ‘need’ to use. Others because the thought of using is at the forefront of their mind. Subconsciously I start to mimic them, I start to fidget with my coffee cup.
I sit and listen to the Twelve-Traditions and Twelve-Steps of Narcotics Anonymous. Eyes straight ahead, trying my best not to look at those around me for fear of judging them. But why should I judge them? I don’t know their individual stories that lead them to use. They must be good people, they’re here trying to get help. Just like my friend. With the formalities over, they invite those with milestones to come and collect their key-rings. Then it’s time...he’s upset, anxious, that they went from 9 months to 18 months. Have they forgotten about him and all his hard work? They hadn’t. They wanted to save the largest milestone for last. 12 months clean and sober!! It’s his special day, and he got to choose the speakers and the topics of discussion for the day. Gratitude, Power of Prayer, and Life on Life’s Terms.
Hearing these topics I being announced I started thinking about them as they applied to my life. What I would talk about when it was my turn? My friend had asked me before the meeting if I would be willing to talk to show my support for him. Many thoughts and ideas raced through my mind. Nothing coherent. Thankfully then man running the meeting did not call on me to talk like he was supposed to. Relief, served with a side of guilt. I was thankful that I did not have to speak, I didn’t want it to appear as if the non-addict was preaching to everyone else. Yet, there was a great deal of guilt that came with not fully supporting my friend like he wanted.
Once the chosen speakers had finished, it was time for the celebration. My friend had two other members each speak to him and his recovery. The first was there along side of him, throughout the whole 12 months, and many months before that using with him. The first member that stood to speak after all was said and hugs were had, presented him with his One Year Sober Coin. The second member that stood said some kind words about my friend’s recovery, and then presented him with the celebratory One Year Cake. It was Black Forest Cake. I was disappointed, since I don’t like this flavour.
To wrap up the meeting everybody, addict, recovering addict, and supporters alike, formed a circle to say a prayer. Now I do not necessarily believe in Him, but I do believe there are higher powers at work. And it’s those higher powers that help give us the strength to carry on in our lives.
And to my dear friend I say…
Be grateful for the opportunities that you are given. Although we often believe, things aren’t the best, we often forget that we are lucky enough to have great lives surrounded by people we love and care for. And there are some that do not have love, the simplest gift we can be given.
You do not need to pray to Him, but look above to find the ones that have left us. They are there to give us the strength and power that we need to succeed in our lives.
And to live life on life’s terms. We do not have control of everything in our lives. Take a confident step forward and realize that everything in front of us is there for us. To embrace, to learn from, and to build on.
Be confident in who you are, who you are becoming, and who you want to be. It’s it only you that can make the steps necessary.
I love you as a brother, and have cherished all the time we have spent together. You are a man with a great soul and heart. I am proud of your successes in this last year. Here’s to you!
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