After a week of
chaos, I was looking forward to claiming this weekend for myself. I left all of my marking and prepping
for school at school! This is a
rare occurrence for me. But it was
time to find some balance. It was
time to do something that brings a “smile” to my face.
After an early
night to bed on Friday, it was up early on Saturday. I was to spend the morning with a friend snowshoeing. I was uncertain as I left the house and
drove through the dense fog to pick her up. The fog was so thick that I could barely see more than a
car’s length ahead of me. As I
drove up the hill the fog began to break.
And it became clear that it was going to be a gorgeous day with
beautiful scenery on the mountain.
Less than 30
minutes later we were parked and making the long trek up the hill (road) to the
trailhead. You have to understand
the mountain was so busy that the actual parking lots were full, and we had to
park approximately 1 km down the hill from the trailhead. I was going to be about done, before we
even started.
Once my feet
hit the snow and the snowshoes were put on, I was in a whole other world. I was in a place of pure happiness and
relaxation. It’s this that brought
the “smile” to my face. It was
time to take back my time and claim it to myself.
After some
trekking, and a little break to find a geocache, something else I haven’t had
the opportunity to do in a while, we reached the summit. Amazing views of the mountains and
views of endless fog blanketing the city surrounded us.
Aperture Priority; ISO 250; Shutter 1/4000;
Aperture f13; Focal Length 35mm; ev -3.0; WB - Daylight
Aperture Priority; ISO 250; Shutter 1/1600; Aperture f13; Focal Length 55mm; ev -2.0; WB - Daylight
Aperture Priority; ISO 250; Shutter 1/320; Aperture f13; Focal Length 35mm; ev -2.0; WB - Daylight
I couldn’t have
smiled more that day. A day
claimed to doing something I love, a day spent with a friend catching up, and a
day outdoors in the gorgeous sunshine.
Nothing but smiles!
“8 O’clock.” It
doesn’t leave much room for interpretation; but does give you an opportunity to
think about 14 different options, or less, if your 8 O’clocks repeat in any
way.
I briefly considered taking my photograph at 20:00. On Monday it would’ve been a photograph
of my runners, a sweat towel, and a water bottle. It would’ve been an accurate description of my Monday nights
spinning. Throughout the rest of
the week, by 8pm I can be found on the couch with the television on. Depending on the night, I might also be
preparing my lessons for the next day’s classes. Truthfully with this being the first week of second term I
was pretty well burnt out by the time I made it home at the end of the day. I had no motivation to photograph in
the evening.
You can typically find me doing one of two things at
08:00. If it’s one of my four
teaching days, I’ll be standing in Starbucks waiting for my Grande –
Triple-Shot – Half-Sweet – Non-Fat – No-Whip – No-Foam – Mocha. Otherwise I’m tucked into bed,
hopefully sleeping soundly. It was
clear that I wouldn’t be capable of taking a photograph while I was sleeping,
so a photograph at Starbucks it will be.
This idea was still “fresh” in my mind from last week’s
assignment. It was one of my many
ideas to shoot photographs of the coffee plant at Starbucks. I simply never got around to asking the
Baristas for permission, and never brought my camera along with me. This week was different. On Friday morning I brought my camera
with me inside to grab my coffee.
After Bill, a barista, took my personal cup I asked if it would be
alright to photograph the coffee plant that was sitting at the end of the
counter. Bill had no problem with
it. After being served my coffee
by Judy, I also asked her, since there was a chance she may walk into the
background. Judy didn’t have a
problem with it either.
I made my way through the crowd of caffeine addicts to get
to the end of the bar. I moved the
coffee plant from its original position, over to the left about 1 foot. Placed my freshly brewed mocha slightly
in front of the plant. Then I
started shooting. I remembered to
change my ISO, something I usually forget. Then the aperture, I knew I wanted the focus to be on the
plant itself.
I wanted to attempt to capture the calm before the storm. With coffee in hand the warmth comes over me and I'm able to take my last deep breathes before the day truly begins. I know once I arrive at school I'll be going until I'm in my car driving back home. I love my morning ritual of my Starbucks. It sets the tone for my day. I know without the caffeine I'll feel lost.
Aperture Priority; ISO 3200; Shutter 1/40; Aperture f4.5 ; Focal Length 35mm; ev 0; WB Temperature - 10000 K
This was my original composition for the photograph. My blinders were on and I didn't notice the negative space. I think I was also lacking the creativity in the morning. Looking at it now, I think the composition would improve if the plant's and the tumbler's positions were switched.
Aperture Priority; ISO 3200; Shutter 1/50; Aperture f4.5; Focal Length 35mm; ev 0; WB Auto
Here I wanted to try something a little different with the cropping. Trying to minimize the negative space I didn't even realize was there. And I'm prone to Black & White. I love the deeper contrast.
Aperture Priority; ISO 3200; Shutter 1/40; Aperture f4.5;
Focal Length 35mm; ev 0; WB Fluorescent - Sodium Vapour Lamps
I’m not as happy with my composition this week. Looking at the photographs on the
computer I’ve now noticed a large negative space on the left. I don’t know how I missed it while I
was shooting. I was probably
subconsciously thinking about getting to school, and to try to avoid annoying
any other customers that were in need of their caffeine fix. All in all, maybe a little rushed.
As I write my brother, Houston, and his fiancée, Johnny, are
flying high in the skies! They’re
embarking on a trip of a lifetime.
Leaving their home in Vancouver, BC they will land in Singapore, open up
the boxes containing their bicycles, assemble their bicycles, and start
peddling. So long as their money
last, they will not be returning home for another eleven months! Houston and Johnny will spend the next
eleven months cycling throughout SouthEast Asia. “On [their] loaded touring bikes [they’ll] be cycling throughout Asia
past cities, beaches, jungles, deserts, and the highest mountain in the world..”(www.hojobiking.com) Their journey will begin in Singapore and finish in
India. If they hold true to their
plans the two of them will each put over 15, 000 kilometers on their bikes
travelling through nine countries.
I don’t know about you; but to me that is a concept I cannot comprehend.
It’s important for you to know, that when I say eleven
months and that they will finish in India, that’s simply the current plan. On Houston’s first cycling tour he had
only intended on being gone half a year.
This was when he was cycling from the Southern-most tip in South America
to the Northern-most point in South America. Once reaching his initial “final destination” he had come to
the conclusion that this ending would just be anti-climatic. Instead he flew to the “0km” marker in
Eastern Canada in St. John’s, Newfoundland to ride his way past home to the
“0km” marker in Western Canada in Victoria, BC. His finial “final destination” was now going to be Victoria,
BC adding on another few months to the initial half a year. So, you can see that with Houston plans
do change.
This trip will be a hard trip for me to sit through. My brother is four years younger than I
am, but over the past couple of decades we’ve come quite close. Even though we don’t always agree or
see eye-to-eye, we both respect each other and the lives we lead. After I graduated from highschool, I was
the one that would pick Houston up every day (or as often as I could) so he
wouldn’t have to walk the long route home. For a period of time, again when Houston was still in
highschool, he and I would go out to dinner just the two of us once a
week. Houston is the one that
first got me on a snowboard and taught me how to board. Now with Johnny all the active things
we used to do are done with the three of us. We go snowshoeing, snowboarding, geocaching and every once
and a while we just hang out. Not to
mention I’m still a chauffeur.
Since they don’t own a car, I’m the one that drives them out to our
mom’s for family dinners.
Johnny, Houston, and I on New Years day this year. Snowshoeing around Lost Lake in Whistler, BC.
I’m jealous and envious of them and their abilities to quit
their jobs and simply travel.
Jealous of the fact that they both have jobs that they can quit and
return to with very little difficulty.
Being a teacher, that’s not the case for me. I’m envious of the destinations that they will be able to
experience. Many of the countries
they will tour through are ones that I would like to make my way to in the
upcoming years. I’ve only been to
a couple of them, Thailand and Vietnam, and that was over 12 years ago! I’m envious of they way they live their
lives in such a care free way.
Don’t get me wrong I don’t live a strict regimented live myself. And I LOVE everything in my life! But, I’m at a different point in my
life with my career going in the direction I want it to. And my family couldn’t be any better; I
love my life with Jeremy (my boyfriend, partner, other-half, common-law
husband, husband, what ever you want to call it) and our two boyz (cats), Sam
and Gimli. There’s not one thing
I’d change about our life. We get
to travel every year 3-4 weeks at a time.
It’s just that it’s human nature to want what you don’t
have.
I was so excited for their trip that I decided that Houston
and Johnny needed a special gift.
I had customized t-shirts and hats made for both of them. Hoping that they wear them throughout
their trip, of course not when they’re peddling away, since it’s not technical
gear. I also thought that it migh
be a way for them to spread the word about their blog.
Johnny and Houston sporting their new threads.
Johnny showing off his new HoJoBiking hat with Houston looking on.
The excitement grows, as I know Houston and Johnny only have
another 60 minutes in the air before they land at 5:30 am in Singapore. Over the next eleven months I will be
following their adventures and watching their love for one and other grow as I
read their blog, HoJo Biking: Bicycle Touring SouthEast Asia,
and follow their tweets @HoustonMarsh and @hojobiking.
If you, yourselves, have any interest in living vicariously
through two adventurous people I suggest you follow along too. And if you’re interested in the cycling
tours, check out Houston’s blog from his trip across South America and Canada
at Vagabonding around South America & Canada. Houston will also be posting their
current trip there.
Houston & Johnny, I wish you both all the best! And can’t wait to hear about all of
your adventures. Johnny you better
make sure that you both email us on a regular basis back home. Love you both!!
This week was a challenge for me. Almost immediately I my idea; I was going to photograph of
Fresh Water. Thinking rivers and
lakes since I teach all about their properties in Earth Science, this idea was
fresh in my mind. Unfortunately
someone beat me to the punch and shot photos of water.
Then to the fish stalls on Granville Island. Had all the intensions in the world to
head there on my day off during the week.
Well, apparently I wanted to be lazy and never made it out of the house
that day.
Onto the next idea; a freshly brewed cup of coffee, my
morning ritual. Only I was going
to add a twist of including an actual coffee plant and freshly ground espresso
beans. I’ve been keeping my eyes
open for coffee plants in the local garden stores for months now, only I still
haven’t been able to find one. I
look at a coffee plant every morning before work, as I await my Grande – Triple
Shot – ½ Sweet – Non-Fat – No-Whip – No-Foam – Mocha at Starbucks. I thought about asking if I could
borrow their plant but never got around to it.
Fourth idea; freshly cut oranges slightly squeezed so it
would look extra juicy. Only by
the time I got around to photographing the oranges were all gone. And by this point there were photos of
lemons, limes, and oranges that had been posted.
Lost count yet? Fresh baking, I was going to bake my favorite oatmeal muffins and have a nice perfectly square piece of butter melting on it. Then I thought to myself, "then I'd have to eat them." And this wouldn't fit into my attempts at getting back into healthier eating after a couple of weeks of over indulgence. Ah well...maybe in a months time for a special treat. (My muffins are extra fattening with the amount of butter I use).
I was stuck; I knew I’d find something eventually that I
wanted to attempt to photograph.
Ah… “fresh” threads? The
new t-shirt and hat I had designed and made for my brother’s upcoming cycling
trip. Although, the term “fresh
threads” didn’t quite have the right ring. Maybe “new threads”; but not fresh threads.
In the back of my mind I had the idea of a “fresh
perspective” and was going to take a photograph from a new perspective. A perspective you normally wouldn’t
encounter.
But that’s okay…Sunday night I saw it…it was calling to
me. A pomegranate. It’s a fruit and fruit are fresh. And there it was! I knew I wanted it to have a strong
contrast to bring out the red, so after being cut and half of it seeded it went
on display on a white plate. And a
white backdrop was added too; okay it was a piece of paper that I had taped
onto the backsplash of the kitchen counter. *I couldn’t get any of the preset
White Balances to bring out the correct colors, so I used a gray card to create
a Custom White Balance. Due to the
slower shutter speed I had to use a tripod too.
Aperture Priority; ISO 400; Shutter 1/2; Aperture f5.6;
Focal Length 80mm; ev 0; WB Custom*
I’m quite happy with the results. As always I welcome any thoughtful critiques.
There is always something worth celebrating in life. It’s important not just to simply the
“special” moments when we have planned or scheduled celebrations; but to
remember to celebrate the “ordinary” and the everyday occasions as well.
As part of my Take52 Challenge I selected a photograph I
took while snowshoeing around Lost Lake in Whistler, BC with my brother and his
fiancé Johnny. This year for
Christmas I put only a few items to purchase on my Wishlist, the main component
of my wishlist was activities to do with the “giver” to create memories. Why have someone buy me something I can
easily go to the store to get myself.
I’d much rather be able to spend time creating memories with those I
love.
One activity I placed on my Wishlist was a day
snowshoeing. My brother, Houston,
and Johnny had planned a day for us to drive to Whistler, snowshoe around Lost
Lake on some of the most beautiful trails, and warm-up while sitting in the
Village sipping on our coffees. It
was a gorgeous, bluebird day; I was almost disappointed I wasn’t boarding
instead. But due to their upcoming
yearlong cycling trip throughout Asia, they didn’t want to risk any
injuries. I don’t blame them at
all.
I found myself carrying the camera ready to shoot everything I
encountered. The white contrasting
with the blue sky and the green of the firs peaking through was stunning.
I’ve whittled the hundreds of photographs I took that day to
two.
The following photography is of an ornament hanging from a
Christmas tree along one of the trails.
From this Christmas tree you can look over to the runs on Blackcomb
Mountain. Although I didn’t want
to focus on the runs themselves, I wanted all focus to be on the ornament in
celebrating the Christmas season.
Aperture Priority; ISO 400; Shutter1/1250; Aperture f22; Focal
Length 35mm; ev -4.0; WB Flash*
The second photography is of Houston and Johnny posing along
the trail. I was more interested
in telling the story about our day snowshoeing; that’s why I focused on the
trail sign instead of the two of them in the background. However, it was important for me to
include them in the photograph, otherwise the whole story wouldn’t have been
told. You may not be able to
recognize their features but to me the scream.
Aperture Priority; ISO 400; Shutter 1/400 ; Aperture f5.6;
Focal Length 35mm; ev 0; WB Flash*
I love the fact that I’m able to celebrate the beginning of
the New Year with Houston and Johnny.
Over the past couple of years I’ve tried more and more to make an effort
to spend quality time with my close friends, those that I consider family, and
family. As a bonus was able to
start off the New Year in fine form doing something active and outdoors.
This New Year’s Day I was celebrating family, new
beginnings, healthy/active lives, and the beauty of nature.
*I must have accidently chosen a White Balance of
Flash. Most of the day I spent
with my White Balance in Daylight, Shade, or Cloudy.
Growing up I was enthralled with photography! It's my New Year's Resolution in 2013 to continue to develop my photography skills and to keep my DLSR with me whenever possible, if not a point-and-shoot, and at the least my iPhone. I want to develop my artistic eye and to capture the objects, the subjects that tug at me.
My dad, although he had a regular
full-time job, was a professional photographer. On weekends, and weeknights during the long summer days,
he’d be off taking family portraits or wedding portraits. I of course wasn’t allowed to accompany
him to the wedding sessions, but would often go as his assistant to shoot
family portraits. I’d be the
“sit-in” before the clients arrived.
He was great! I’d sit there
in awe, especially when it came time to developing in the dark-room and
retouching by hand.
For himself personally though, he’d prefer the abstract
concepts of photographing everyday items found in unusual places, or
landscapes. I’ll have to dig out a
copy of my favorite piece, it’s a close up of a doll he’d found laying on the
ground with runny make-up. He
traditionally shot everything in black and white.
For my 16th birthday he bought me my first film
camera, a Nikon D50. I was so super
excited by it! I had been taking
photography classes at school and was spending all my spare time using one of
my mom’s old cameras. Throughout
the next couple of years I’d play with the camera, never spending lots of time
to perfect the skill. You know how
busy highschool can get in your senior years (I was taking advanced classes and
lots of extra time went into homework, and I began playing more sports). Photography went by the wayside for a
while. Then something happened,
I’d lost my mentor when my dad passed away. I’d played with the camera and in the darkroom for a
while. Until the chemicals that
were on-hand expired. There was no
sense spending the money on the chemicals when I was living 50 minutes from the
family home, in which the darkroom was located.
I continued to take photographs when travelling with my film
camera, some photos I loved, some were okay, others (most) I was frustrated
with that they were “noisy.”
Getting good film, with decent ISO, in South East Asia was apparently hard. So that was it…the D50 was put away and
the small digital point-and-shoot was bought. I’d lived with the point-and-shoot for nearly a decade
before I decided it was time to buy a DSLR. Last spring I began to realize that I was missing something,
and now that I had time to spend on my own hobbies I wanted to get back into
photography.
Last spring before heading off on another trip to Europe in
the summer, I was adamant that I was going to get a DSLR for a birthday gift to
self. I didn’t get the camera I
ultimately wanted, the Nikon D7000.
I just didn’t have the money to buy it nor could I justify spending the
money on a camera I knew I wouldn’t need while I was learning to photography
all over again. Instead I bought
myself the older version, the Nikon D90.
My choice was between these two cameras so I could continue to use my
old lenses, without having to start my collection from scratch again.
Shot of Mont St Michel from the Emerald Coast, France. ISO 3200; Shutter 1/3200; Aperture f14.0; Focal Length 78mm
This fall I enrolled myself in a ten-week Beginner’s
Introduction to Digital SLR course with Vancouver Photo Workshops, a great place
to learn. Throughout those ten
weeks I reviewed some concepts I was familiar with, and learned many that I was
not familiar with. I’ll share some
of these photographs at a future date.
Shot of Downtown Vancouver from Granville Island. Aperture Priority; ISO 200; Shutter 1/3; Ap f4.0; Focal Length 35mm; WB Auto
And here we are today, the start of a new year. I was going to continue taking
photography classes, although I realized that this term was going to be a busy
term with my teaching. So I
decided that I would need something to entice me to keep my camera in hand and
out of the closet gathering dust.
I am going to challenge myself to take the CameraShyTake52Challenge. My goal will be
to complete the weekly challenges and post the photographs here on my
blog. (Please note that the
photographs posted will have little to no editing done, since my computer lacks
any memory space to actually work on the photographs and install any editing
software).
Wish me luck!
And good luck to those of you participating in the challenge.
So when I started this blog in the Summer I had all the
intensions in the world to post once a week. Well, okay, I knew that wouldn’t be realistic for me. I was really thinking once ever couple
of week; but definitely thought it would on a regular basis.
It looks like life got in the way of that plan. In a good way though. Soon after the school year had started
I was called in as a TOC for a weeks time. No sooner did that week end, that I was asked to stay for
another week. Day-by-day I kept
teaching in that same position.
After the maximum amount of time spent as a TOC in one position, 28
days, I went to HR and asked for a Temporary Contract. And a temporary contract is what I
got. Granted it was “until return
of incumbent.” That didn’t bother
me though, any contract, even a temporary contract, meant I was starting to
build my seniority and would now be ahead of other TOCs in the district. This was a good thing, even if I didn’t
know how long I’d be teaching for.
I made it to Christmas Break! This was a great thing. It kept me busy, my free time after schools was now taken up
with planning course material and marking the students work. (Yes, even with the strike action, I
was still marking, it would have to be done sooner or later.) I had a great Christmas Break, enjoying
myself. It was the first time I’d
actually been paid for time off; a novel idea.
Into the new year, I knew I was to be back TOCing. The teacher I had been covering for was
returning to work. Well that
didn’t last long, shortly after school had been back in, I was asked to come
back and share the position with a 0.5FTE (I’d be working half the week). Again, no complaints from me, it meant
another temporary contract, more seniority, and a guaranteed income! And as if it were luck, I was finally
asked to take over again as a 1.0FTE.
I was back working full time in one position. And I’m still there today!
As I mentioned all this teaching has taken up my free
time. My free time that I intended
on spending blogging, among other things.
It’s become a balancing act, juggling school, home, and health. So with this some of my pass time
activities have been neglected.
The blog, geocaching, reading, among others. Geocaching was neglected simply because of my extended
hours. I’d leave and come home in
the dark hours. And lets face it,
after extended days I was drained and didn’t really feel much like doing
anything. Now being in a groove,
and having an easier course load for teaching this term, I hope that I’m able
to get out more.
Of course with many things constantly changing in my life,
it’s my goal to write at least one blog every two weeks. To accomplish this goal I’m going to
set aside some time (1 hour) to sit and relax and write. I may just start writing drafts in pen,
then transferring them to the web.
That’s what I’ll do! I’ve
been so careful not to neglect my home life, or school life, and my fitness
that I’m sure I can add in one or two more activities. Even if only for a couple of hours a
month.
As you are walking through the Scarfe building you take a minute to look around and you begin to realize that everyone you see is an individual. No two are alike, we all come from different backgrounds and we all have different social personalities and have had different experiences that have led to that “ah-hah” moment when we decided to become teachers. As we have all had different experiences that have lead us to become teacher candidates, it is only natural that those different experiences affect our teaching perspectives.
Even though I am Canadian born and raised in the Lower Mainland, I have a variety of different social personalities from other Canadians born and raised in the Lower Mainland. Growing up in Maple Ridge as a middle class family with both of my parents and my younger brother I felt that I was privileged in all the things I had and all the activities in which I participated; and continuously receiving support in all we did. Through this support we were taught to believe that individual has the right to their own beliefs on the intricacies of the world surrounding us. Within our family structure everyone’s opinions and beliefs were always accepted and supported.
Growing up in my family I would say was just as typical as any other. My passion for reading developed at a young age. Both of my parents read to me continuously when I was not yet able to. Part of my difficulty in reading, did not stem from a lack of intelligence, but a lack of opportunities in the classroom. I was a French Immersion student and was not provided the opportunity to learn to read English until I reached grade 3. Either way whether I was reading myself or not, I owe my parents for my passion. I do not recall a single night when they did not read to me, and read themselves before slipping into bed. The first novel I recall my father reading to me was written by Mark Twain, it was Huckleberry Finn. To this day it remains one of my favorite reads, amongst many other classic novels. If it were not for my parents exposing me to reading at such a young age, I do not believe I would love to read as much. However, as I grew older and proceeded through high school, I put up a rebellion front. I did not enjoy having to read what I was told to read. If it were my choice, I would have had a choice between novels. It is my belief with providing an array of selection, relating in themes, that students will chose a piece of literature that is intriguing to them. And they will not feel as rebellious, and refuse to read everything.
It was not until my first year in high school, Grade 8, that there was a drastic change in our family structure. No longer was it a household with two working parents; Dad was officially diagnosed with 100% Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as a result of serving with the US Army during the Vietnam War, going onto permanent disability from his career as an Financial Assistant Worker. This had both positive and negative consequences; however, the positive far outweighed the negative. I was able to spend more time with him; and I had the opportunity to have him supporting me at every single game of volleyball, at every game and tournament of rugby, and at every dance competition I had. Always having that extra moral support on the sidelines was extraordinary. Not everyone was as lucky as me to be shown that kind of support from their parents 100% of the time.
It was not until after my dad passed away five years later that I began to realize the importance of that support. That year I began coaching girls rugby at the high school I graduated from and had that “ah-hah” moment. I came to the realization that I was to work with adolescents, to provide that extra support to adolescents who are not as fortunate as I was to have someone always cheering for me on my side. I could provide that positive environment for them to learn in, to grow in, and to develop in. Sharing in their accomplishments was as equally as rewarding if not more so than experiencing my own accomplishments. To have such a positive influence on someone’s life and to take pride in their abilities is a great experience. It was the difference within my family structure from all those children I heard my parents talk about and the positive support I received, that made me want to provide those opportunities to others.
It’s early Sunday morning and the alarm is going off. Too early, especially since I’m not heading off to work. I roll out of bed at 6:30am, take a quick look out the window, almost looking to see if the sun was up yet. Skies were blue with the sun shining. It’s going to be a good day, in more ways than one.
Dressed and ready for the day ahead out to the car I go. First stop, as any other morning, Starbucks. Not too sure how long my upcoming event will take, I decide better safe than sorry, so, I decide to get a sausage breakfast sandwich to go along with my grande non-fat no-whip mocha. Coffee in hand, I drive towards my destination for this morning’s early alarm. Surrey, not in the nice part of Surrey either. Off to an older run-down (currently – some neighbours seem to be taking care of their yards, others not) neighbourhood of Whalley.
Being early and nervous about my morning’s adventures, I drive around the house to scope out the area and assess the situation. I find a large business parking lot to stop in and enjoy my coffee while I collect and process my thoughts.
It’s time...now or never. If I don’t drive to the house now, I’ll miss it. I won’t be able to support him. Facing the uneasiness I had about this new environment, I got out of my car, walked around to the back of the house. There it was, the converted garage, where I’ll visit my first N.A. meeting. The yard is filled with faces I don’t know. I walk past them towards the door of the garage. There is a friendly warm welcoming smile that meets me. A nice big hug from the man, the friend, I am there to support. I’m at ease. Next two other faces I know, relief sets in. I know I’m doing the right thing by being here to support my friend, to help him celebrate his accomplishments in the past year.
The meeting is called to start and everyone files into the converted garage to find a seat. I sit beside my friend, really – where else would I be? It’s hard for him to settle. I look around; it’s hard for everyone to settle. Each addict is experiencing ticks, shaking, fidgeting in some way. Some maybe because they’ve just used, ‘need’ to use. Others because the thought of using is at the forefront of their mind. Subconsciously I start to mimic them, I start to fidget with my coffee cup.
I sit and listen to the Twelve-Traditions and Twelve-Steps of Narcotics Anonymous. Eyes straight ahead, trying my best not to look at those around me for fear of judging them. But why should I judge them? I don’t know their individual stories that lead them to use. They must be good people, they’re here trying to get help. Just like my friend. With the formalities over, they invite those with milestones to come and collect their key-rings. Then it’s time...he’s upset, anxious, that they went from 9 months to 18 months. Have they forgotten about him and all his hard work? They hadn’t. They wanted to save the largest milestone for last. 12 months clean and sober!! It’s his special day, and he got to choose the speakers and the topics of discussion for the day. Gratitude, Power of Prayer, and Life on Life’s Terms.
Hearing these topics I being announced I started thinking about them as they applied to my life. What I would talk about when it was my turn? My friend had asked me before the meeting if I would be willing to talk to show my support for him. Many thoughts and ideas raced through my mind. Nothing coherent. Thankfully then man running the meeting did not call on me to talk like he was supposed to. Relief, served with a side of guilt. I was thankful that I did not have to speak, I didn’t want it to appear as if the non-addict was preaching to everyone else. Yet, there was a great deal of guilt that came with not fully supporting my friend like he wanted.
Once the chosen speakers had finished, it was time for the celebration. My friend had two other members each speak to him and his recovery. The first was there along side of him, throughout the whole 12 months, and many months before that using with him. The first member that stood to speak after all was said and hugs were had, presented him with his One Year Sober Coin. The second member that stood said some kind words about my friend’s recovery, and then presented him with the celebratory One Year Cake. It was Black Forest Cake. I was disappointed, since I don’t like this flavour.
To wrap up the meeting everybody, addict, recovering addict, and supporters alike, formed a circle to say a prayer. Now I do not necessarily believe in Him, but I do believe there are higher powers at work. And it’s those higher powers that help give us the strength to carry on in our lives.
And to my dear friend I say…
Be grateful for the opportunities that you are given. Although we often believe, things aren’t the best, we often forget that we are lucky enough to have great lives surrounded by people we love and care for. And there are some that do not have love, the simplest gift we can be given.
You do not need to pray to Him, but look above to find the ones that have left us. They are there to give us the strength and power that we need to succeed in our lives.
And to live life on life’s terms. We do not have control of everything in our lives. Take a confident step forward and realize that everything in front of us is there for us. To embrace, to learn from, and to build on.
Be confident in who you are, who you are becoming, and who you want to be. It’s it only you that can make the steps necessary.
I love you as a brother, and have cherished all the time we have spent together. You are a man with a great soul and heart. I am proud of your successes in this last year. Here’s to you!
